“ If You Want To Fly…

… you have to give up the things that weigh you down.”   Marianne Williamson, one of my favorite Spiritual teachers, wrote that quote. Her words spoke to me immediately. I am an inspiration seeker. So, whenever I read a quote, or simply hear someone say something that opens up my mind to a better way of looking at my life, I write their words down in a notebook. I use these notebooks the same way that a student does. I study them and try with all my might to incorporate the message they hold for me in my thinking so as to enlighten myself on a daily basis. Gary Zukav, a Harvard physicist, refers to life as “the earth school”. I see it that way, as well.

When I read this quote, I break it up into two parts so that I am able to get as much out of it as possible. To me, the words If I want to fly mean if I want to be all that I can be, if I want to live up to my potential, if I want to become the person God intends me to be. And, I do. I want all of this. I am finished living a life of limits. I am ready to soar ahead. I am prepared to let the universe- God- take the reins. I am ready to surrender to the Divine Intelligence that keeps the planets in alignment, the rivers flowing to the sea and the grass growing. I am willing to co-create with God a life worth living, a life to really be excited about, a life that lights me up every day. Out with complacency and in with adventure.

I’ve contemplated the pros and cons of staying in my comfort zone. I’ve faced my fear of the unknown. I’m determined to shake off sameness and forge ahead even if I don’t know all the details of my new journey. Life doesn’t come with a map or a set of instructions. Often, you just have to wing it. Just go where your instincts tell you to go. I’m learning that it’s best to follow the voice inside with no regrets if you misunderstand it once in a while remembering what Thomas Edison said, “It’s not a mistake if you learn from it”. 

I believe I’ve fully delved into and sifted through the “If I want to fly…” part of the Marianne Williamson quote. I know I want to fly. With every fiber of my being, I want to take off into the wild blue yonder.

Now, onto the action part of this quote- “…you have to give up the things that weigh you down.”  Easier said than done, but doable. Definitely doable. Contemplation, stillness and just plain paying attention to your everyday activities will help you produce a list that can be used as a beneficial guide. A little while ago, I came across a quote by John C. Maxwell that I found to be of great value. He wrote, “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine”. This is where paying attention is vital. And, honesty is a plus. You have to get real to determine where change is necessary.

So, without further adieu, here are the things that I know I have to let go of. And, the funny thing is, they are all found in my daily routine. Thank you, Mr. Maxwell. I need to take better care of myself. Much better. I matter. It’s crazy that I never realized that before. I need to improve my diet by eating food that nourishes me and sustains good health. I need to make good eating habits a top priority. On that note, I am going to make a good plan for myself every day and stick to it no matter what is going on in my life. I will write down on paper exactly what I need to consume at every meal so as to start forming good habits that will come naturally to me down the road. That’s not so hard to do, now is it? What’s that old saying? “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. So, plan, Shelagh, plan. 

In addition to following a sensible meal plan, I need to give up alcohol. Yes. It’s true. I know deep in my heart that it’s holding me back in life. I’m not your stereotypical alcoholic but I have an alcohol problem in that I have become somewhat dependent on it several nights a week. Just being honest. I really, really don’t want to go down the path of full blown dependency. No way. So, I need to rise above the pull to drink alcohol. People do it all the time and so can I. I will feel better and have boundless energy if I abstain from alcohol and eat sensibly. Oh, and get more sleep. I can do all of these things if I believe I can. 

One more item on the list of things that weigh me down. I need to let go of self doubt and acknowledge my gifts and talents. We all have them. The good Lord didn’t skip over anyone. So, instead of telling myself that I don’t have what it takes, I need to follow my bliss. That’s where my purpose, my passion, lies. Writing turns me on and lifts me up. So, instead of saying I want to be a writer, I’m just plain going to be one. Now. Today. Yes! And, no more procrastinating or wasting time. 

New mantra- “Our lives change when our habits change."

A Work in Progress

                  

                                    A Work In Progress

A short while ago, I came across a book entitled, You Are A Badass. Of course, I had to pick it up and skim through it in hopes that the author, Jen Sincero, was referring to me. Funny thing. It turns out she was. I am, in fact, a Badass because I try every day to kick it up a notch, or two, in my life. I know that I can do better and I’m willing to stand up and require more of myself. 

One thing that I know about life is that we are constantly co-creating our experience with God, or the Universe- whatever you’d like to call the Divine Intelligence that permeates the atmosphere bringing us gravity, oceans and the ability to be self actualized beings capable of so very much.

Thomas Alva Edison once said, “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves”. Since Edison and I are both from New Jersey, I gladly put my trust in this statement. He, also, said, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time”. Thank you, Mr. Edison. This brilliant man certainly knew what he was talking about because it took him many, many attempts to perfect the light bulb. What if he had given up and told himself that it’s useless to go on? We’d all be stumbling around in the dark every evening.

I love to read anything and everything that can help me open my mind to all the possibilities that lie before me. I seek inspiration with every breath I take. Fortunately, I’ve found that it is all around me because God is inspiration and we all know where He is. Yes. Everywhere. People inspire me. Books, events, quotes, etc… They all help to raise my awareness of my purpose. I am so grateful that I don’t have to figure everything out on my own. There is assistance to be had at any moment. All I have to do is seek it. Cool!

“Manifesting your ideal life requires working on your subconscious, bringing it to light, so that you can experience both your subconscious and conscious in alignment with your True Nature”. I read this quote the other day and connected with it immediately. It was written by Chris Cade. To me, it means that our conscious thoughts must be in harmony with our subconscious thoughts. And, these thoughts must be of a positive nature so as to guide us to fulfill our passion.

Our conscious mind is awareness, concern, interest. It’s the mental activity of which a person is aware. It is the ability to experience or feel. It is wakefulness. The subconscious mind describes thoughts that are just below our conscious awareness. Thought patterns that we’ve ingrained in our brain over time. They can be positive and useful or negative and, therefore, counterproductive. The subconscious is very powerful. So, it is vital to eliminate negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. 

There is no truth to negativity because life does not support it. I fully believe that the universe works for us not against us. So, negativity is not real. We imagine it, believe it and store it in our subconscious. But, when you consciously have a mantra, or personal mission statement, that says  words to the effect that, “I am capable, I am creative, I am resourceful”, then these thoughts will eventually make their way into your subconscious which in turn will propel you toward well being. In other words, as Jimmy Buffett sings in one of his songs, “Believe it and it will come true.

In my life, consciously, I want to be a person who takes really good care of herself every day. And, I want to write about Peace and Love to help this world become a better place. To top that off, I, also, want to start a charitable foundation to help those in need. To date, I have not been successful  in achieving these goals much to my disappointment. 

After great reflection, I’ve concluded that my failure to reach these goals lies in the fact that my conscious mind and my subconscious mind haven’t been in the alignment Chris Cade speaks of. Basically, my conscious mind says on a regular basis, “You can do it, Shelagh Bradley. You can achieve anything you put your mind to.” Sounds good, right? However, at the same time my subconscious mind counters that positivity with this line of thinking, “No, you can’t. You silly girl. Who do you think you are anyway???” 

See the tug of war there? No progress can be made unless this beautiful thing called alignment takes place. Thank you, Chris Cade, for opening my mind to this idea. If we want to be happy and successful, we must believe on the conscious and subconscious level that we can achieve that which we desire. 

Now that I’m in the process of  bringing my negative subconscious thoughts to light, I can reprogram them to be an advantage rather than a detriment. Deepak Chopra says that, “You must get to the place inside where you believe anything is possible.” He, also, says that, “To have the desire for something means you can accomplish it. Or else, you wouldn’t have it.”

Wish me luck. Please!!!

Just The Two Of Us

                                                                Just The Two Of Us

On a very cold day in January 1979, my sweet Mom awakened me early with a happy smile on her face. “Let’s take a little trip over to Ocean City today”, she said in an intriguing voice. “I have a surprise for you!” I am part of a large family- a tribe it seems at times. I have seven brothers and sisters bringing the total family number to ten. So, the thought of being able to spend the day alone with my Mom on some sort of adventure made me spring right out of bed. There was always so much to do every day to keep the ship afloat that small excursions like this were rare.

I grew up on a barrier island in South Jersey- Absecon Island. Our small town of Margate is a quick fifteen minute car ride to Ocean City which is another barrier island just to the south of Absecon Island. My Mother kept a mysterious air about her as we travelled across the bridge from one island to the next. I instinctively knew that something good was about to take place but I had no idea what that was to be. “No questions, please!”, was her response when I started my inquiry about our destination. 

Before too long, we were parking the car on Asbury Avenue in front of a small shop with the title, “Something Old Something New” painted above the front door. My heart skipped a beat as it dawned on me what the surprise was- a visit to a bridal salon. My very first. At the time, I was engaged to be married with a wedding date of May 12th. Four months away. I could barely speak as we entered this quaint, little boutique. Brides-to-be have been purchasing gowns with their Mothers since the beginning of time. But, not this bride-to be or this Mother. It was a first for us and we were in awe. I hugged her tight and thanked her profusely. 

I can still visualize the sea of white in front of us. Gorgeous dresses everywhere. We did not know where to begin the search. I remember my Mom saying, “Let’s take our time.” A wise idea indeed. We smiled at each other and nervously took our first steps down the left side of the store. Believe it or not, I had no preconceived notion of what my wedding dress should look like except for the standard color and length- white and long. Pretty vague.  Fortunately, the sales women were busy assisting other customers. So, we felt free to take it all in without any pressure. 

For some reason, a gown in the first row was hanging on a rod perpendicular to all of the other dresses. So, naturally, it caught our attention. I was attracted to it immediately and with my Mother’s encouragement, I tried it on. I loved, loved, loved it from the moment she zipped me up. We both gasped and giggled at my reflection in the mirror. I was in Heaven and little did I know, my Mom was, too. At that moment, the shop owner came in the dressing room and showered us with compliments. She was smiling and laughing with us as she explained that seeing the joy on the faces of Mothers and daughters in her store never got old. 

I never wanted that moment to end. I knew that it was an experience that I would treasure forever. The sensible thing to do in a situation like that would have been to put the dress aside and continue the search. I can’t imagine a bride-to-be today settling on the first gown she tries on. Unheard of. In this day and age, looking for the perfect bridal gown is a mission that encompasses many stores in different cities with several family members and friends assembled for advice and approval. But, that was definitely not the way my Mother and I had dreamed of this day. It was always going to be just the two of us. 

Being the kind woman my Mom was, she kept her thoughts on the dress to herself until she was absolutely sure I had given it enough consideration. I could not pry an opinion out of her for what seemed like an eternity. She insisted that this decision fell completely on my shoulders. I knew I had made up my mind once and for all when the thought of taking the gown off to try on others saddened me. I turned to her and announced that this dress was the one. Upon hearing those words, my Mother was overcome with excitement because she was in love with the dress, as well. Our thoughts were in complete and total harmony. 

Needless to say, the purchase was made that day and alterations began immediately. Never once did I have second thoughts about only trying on one gown. When it’s the one, you know it. I thank God for that special day alone with my Mom whenever I drive past that little shop. It’s no longer a bridal salon but that’s okay because the memory of that day can never be erased from my mind. 

Sweet, lovely Jane Bradley died three years after my wedding. Almost thirty four years ago, as I write this post. I still miss her with all my heart!