Reunioning

                                              

I hope no one minds, but I think I just changed the noun reunion into a verb. An action word to be exact. I had to do it to be able to accurately explain what I’ve been up to lately. I’ve been reunioning for the last eight months and having a ball. 

It all started a while back when I asked one of my high school classmates if she thought anyone would mind if I organized our 45th reunion. We graduated from Holy Spirit High School in Absecon, New Jersey in 1971. This dear, old friend gave me the go ahead with glee. She was thrilled that I wanted to do it. And, she assured me that everyone else would be, too. That was all I needed to hear and immediately got the ball rolling. 

I instinctively knew it would be a fun, easy endeavor because I felt confident that I knew what I was going to do. The reason for this sense of security is that I had  organized our last high school reunion a few years ago and it all worked out well. Everyone seemed happy with the result. Thank God because when I took on that challenge, I had no idea what I was doing and all hell seemed to be breaking loose in my life at the same time. 

In the eight months prior to the first reunion I ran for our class, Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey with a vengeance. It wreaked havoc on the barrier island where I resided fifteen miles away from our high school. The aftermath of that storm required months and months of concentrated effort on the part of every resident to clean up the island and regain some sense of normalcy. Every free moment was spent drying out our homes, schools, stores, etc… We were assigned the enormous task of returning all of the sand that had blanketed the island back to the beach where it rightly belonged. 

In the midst of all of that, my dear old Dad died. As I dealt with my grief, I was given the duty of executrix of his estate. An assignment I was completely unqualified for, to say the least. There were actually a few more bumps in the road I had to deal with at that time, as well. But, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I better get going with planning a fun evening for my high school classmates  because, as we all know, time flies. I kept telling myself that I had always been in good standing with these friends and I better not risk it now by reneging on my promise to organize the reunion. 

So, I stepped up to the plate and began building a plan. At first, I didn’t have time to gather a committee to help me. I just went it alone. I chose the date, the location, the DJ and opened a new bank account for our class. I didn’t report in to anyone. I just kept going with the plan that was forming in my head daily. I didn't have a clue as to whether it would all come together. I had so much on my plate that I didn’t have time to wonder if anyone would approve of my decisions. I was on a roll and things seemed to be falling into place quite nicely. 

Classmates started asking if they could help and I began delegating left and right. These wonderful friends were willing to do anything it took to bring a great reunion to fruition. Next thing you knew, we were all at The Log Cabin on the bay in Margate, New Jersey having a ball. I am a keen observer of life. I looked around all evening and marveled at the fact that the reunion was actually taking place. It was happening. As our classmates poured through the door and, then, onto the dance floor, I was in true amazement. Borderline shock that it had all worked out.

I felt like I was experiencing some sort of a miracle. I began thanking God, my Mom and Dad and everyone in Heaven for Divine Intervention. I almost couldn’t believe it. I went from no plan and no direction to a well crafted plan with a successful conclusion. Yay! Three cheers! Phew! Friends were congratulating me and thanking me for creating such an enjoyable evening for our class. I graciously accepted their gratitude all the while laughing to myself. If they only knew how close we came to having pizza in someone’s backyard for the reunion. Or, worse, no reunion at all. If they could have seen the way I was “flying by the seat of my pants” the entire time leading up to the reunion, they would have been stunned. 

But, that was then and this is now. What a difference the passage of time can bring. Last night was our 45th high school reunion and it was wonderful in every way. I actually knew what I was doing this time around. There was no stress. No second guessing myself. No worries. Just pure fun from the day I got the okay to proceed with the planning. Or, what I would like to call “ The Reunioning”.

Again, I chose the venue, the date, the menu, the DJ and determined the cost per person all on my own. It would have taken many meetings if we had to have a general consensus on all of those decisions. I had confidence that my classmates had faith in my judgement. This go around, I decided that the invitation should be sent via email. So, I formed a wonderful committee with the soul intent of acquiring as many email addresses as we could. We searched the highways and byways for our classmates. At times, a little detective work was needed. If we knew anyone that might vaguely know how to get in touch with a classmate, we were on it. We began this quest with zero email addresses and ended up securing about 160, or so. It was a wonderful team effort.

Our intent was to inform everyone of the reunion and then leave it up to them as to whether they wanted to join us, or not. We never wanted to pressure anyone into attending our class party. I fully understand that not everyone feels comfortable being part of a high school reunion. I think this is universal. My guess would be that many people fear being judged by their classmates even though the time they spent together in school was many, many moons ago.   The old “I’m not good enough” feeling surfaces and creates anxiety that makes it not worth it.

I had the joy and privilege of connecting with many of my classmates on a regular basis throughout the entire “reunioning” process. We communicated with each other in every way possible. Email, phone calls, hand written letters (old school!), meetings at different classmates’ homes and my all time favorite- “walk and talks” on the boardwalk. 

Each time we gathered, organizing the reunion was our top priority. Well, for at least the first fifteen minutes, that is. Then, we’d drift off into our old high school stories. We magically were transformed back into the silly, fun loving teenagers we were back in the halls of Holy Spirit High School. We would laugh and laugh as one story after another was shared. Then, as the chairperson, I would start to silently panic as I realized we’re not accomplishing what we set out to do. I would call everyone back to order— at one home using a wine opener as a gavel, of sorts. Yes. There was wine at times. How else was I to bribe people into coming out to help me on bitter cold, snowy nights? Can you blame me?  Sometimes, you’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do, right?

When the big night came—our 45th Reunion—I arrived very early for the event. I wanted to relax and collect my thoughts so that I could help every classmate feel right at home as they entered the ballroom. Wherever I go in my life, I always appreciate being greeted by a smiling face. It puts me at ease and helps me feel like I am where I belong. So, I wanted to be that person for my old friends. 

Right off the bat, everyone who came to the registration table to sign in was cheerful and genuinely happy to be a part of such an joyous event. Many attendees arrived at the same time and no one showed any annoyance at having to wait patiently in line to sign in and receive a name tag. And, speaking of name tags, what a brilliant item they are to have on hand when you are suddenly socializing with people you haven’t seen in ages. Some people look amazingly like their old high school selves but just a bit older. And, understandably so, others don’t look familiar at all. A tricky situation, indeed, when you are trying your best as hostess to make everyone feel comfortable. As if we had all been together just last week!

I was definitely “winging it” at times throughout the evening when it came to remembering names. I felt a connection to my Dad because he was a master of avoiding awkward moments of name forgetting. He would always smile and say in a very welcoming way, “ Hello, sweetie! ( Honeypie, Darling, Dear… ) It’s so good to see you!”  He would then launch right into a friendly conversation so easily that the person whose name he couldn't remember wouldn’t even notice his forgetfulness. It’s a skill most people would do well to master.

The best memory of the evening was being out on the dance floor which was full all evening because the DJ was superb. All I asked him to play was fun 60’s & 70’s dance music and he really came through for us. Not a bit of shyness from my dear old pals. Every girl & every guy took turns spinning around the floor just as we had always done at the very popular Friday night dances in our high school cafeteria oh so many years ago. 

About four or five different times, classmates came up to me while I was “getting jiggy with it” on the dance floor and asked me to give a speech. Their intentions were good. Of course. But, there was no way that I was going to interfere with the amazing energy that was buzzing all around the dancers. Everyone was happy, laughing, smiling and having the time of their lives. It would have been a crime to make that come to a screeching halt just to hear me say a few words. Words that I couldn’t come up with anyway because I was so caught up in the moment. And, we all know that when the fun stops, people go home. I sure didn’t want that to happen. Oh, no! So we danced on.

I had thanked all of the helpers on our reunion committee several times on social media throughout the planning process. A speech from me was absolutely unnecessary. So, each time the request came my way, I just smiled, hugged the person and continued to dance the night away.  

The greatest thrill of the evening for me was watching everyone so easily interact with each other as if they were all still best friends who got together often. The truth is that we are a diverse group from all over the U.S. now. Many of the attendees mentioned that they hadn’t been to a reunion for twenty, thirty and even forty years. I guess that maturity, genuine love and respect for one another and happy memories of our days at Holy Spirit High School, set the tone for the splendid occasion that was our 45th high school reunion. How lucky we are!